I hired Dan as my legal representative to hopefully implore the Government to look at the facts and realize that I was not involved in a crime. Being a target began to permeate facets of my life and the investigation phase was now in play. I didn’t know how substantive the investigation had been to decide I was a target. At the time of the investigation, it had been about 4 years since I had worked for the Fund that was at issue. Although I had rarely spoken with my former fund committee managers, I knew that the owner of the company that I had worked for had been under investigation for years related to a separate company.
The Government had grabbed my attention in a way that I never could have imagined and I was more than willing to do whatever I could to show them who I was and what had happened in my role as a fund administrator. The Government had never asked me for any information related to their investigation before I became a target. That confused me. How could they know enough to make me a target without my involvement, but I didn’t know much.
Dan was like my shield. He protected me from myself and from the Government. He protected me from saying and doing things that could antagonize the Government rather than be helpful, even if I had the best of intentions. My perspective was “let’s do this together”. Let’s all sit down and put the facts on the table and discuss what happened. That sounded like a reasonable approach to an investigation. Again, I knew nothing.
I didn’t have the slightest idea of what was involved with a Government investigation. How long would it last? What was expected of me? What information they were looking for? Who would it be helpful to talk to? Where were the original business records that contained all the investors’ information? I wanted them to find the truth. How could I be part of that process?
Being investigated overall was unexpectedly uneventful. Besides trying to get used to the idea that I was in a circle with the Government, nothing important seemed to be happening. Again, I was so green. I was expecting a rigorous meeting schedule with all kinds of documents and former colleagues involved.
Dan sent a letter to the prosecutor, Mr. Williams, giving him some idea as to the far-reaching effects on my life if I was charged/convicted of a crime. Mr. Williams characterized my case as “contentious”.
Nothing made sense.
Transformation
The investigation phase lasted about 5 weeks. Most of that time I swung from being on an automatic pilot at home and work to a quasi zombie state as I started to ask all my dumb questions to Dan. I had to ask all the dumb ones to get to the right questions, the questions that helped me make important decisions. When I finally would find the right question, it would often become a debate with Dan.
It was a debate because I knew right from wrong, but I didn’t know the law or the Government. I was a layperson, not an attorney. In my head, you don’t punish somebody for something they didn’t do and didn’t know about. In my head, you need to see all the facts before making life-changing decisions.
Dan started to tell me kindly but repeatedly, “prove it”. I would be explaining something regarding the Fund. He didn’t disagree with me or not believe me, Dan just needed a way to prove what I was saying. Sometimes, I could prove it and sometimes I felt like I was going a bit crazy knowing the facts but really not have a way to show the world.
This was the beginning of me looking at the truth in a different way. For the purpose of the case, if I can’t prove the truth, is it not the truth? That approach kind of messes with you. I had to be careful to identify the truth first and then do my best to prove it. If I dismissed everything that I couldn’t prove, I would be eliminating potentially valuable information. When/if I couldn’t prove something, my credibility would have to stand in its place.
If others within the fund management committee agreed with me, then we would be united in the truth. That should be enough proof, maybe? My hope was that everyone would be on the same page, the truth page. That’s not human nature. When faced with difficult situations, people may gravitate to their own agenda, as needed. That concerned me.
Community
Not many people knew about being a target and not many people needed to know. I had hopes that it would be worked out by some miracle. My community was small. My community was standing by waiting for the good news that the target was off my back and I could get “back to my old life”. For those that didn’t know the “news”, I must have appeared anxious and extremely busy. Never available. No explanation.
My shift in demeanor and unavailability must have put off some people, but I just didn’t have the emotional energy to handle what I going through and answer to many people either. To those people in my community who I thought needed to know or who asked, I did my best to inform them and keep my composure. To those who observed and never asked, they were left to wonder or dismiss the unexpected presence I offered.
Your thoughts
How do you prove something when you know it is true but there is no evidence to offer?
